If there’s anything some of the latest movies have taught us these days, it’s none other than zombie survival. Come to think of it, when the May 21 end-of-the-world news became one of the hottest topics on the internet, zombie survival guides were flying left and right in case the main reason for our demise will be these brain-eating undead. When you go to bookstores, you’ll also see a number of books dedicated to the question, “how to survive zombies?”
Really, how do you survive real zombies? If you’ve played enough zombie survival games, you may have developed a more or less decent tactic to escape. But for those who are busy with their day-to-day life and don’t have the time to read some guide to zombies or play a survival zombie game, they will probably be the first batch of casualties. However, we don’t plan to be the only survivors and claim world dominance so we’ll share with you the skills you need to be successful in running away from and killing zombies. This is really not a blow-by-blow guide to zombie survival because we’re still trying to come up with that but at least, this is a start. These skills, when you have mastered them, will not only be helpful come zombie apocalypse but these are what you can call “skills for life.”
In all of the zombie movies we’ve watched, the fastest way to outrun zombies is of course, to drive away. Duh, driving is the fastest way get away from anything. Well, except for Decepticons probably. Zombies can either be fast or slow and to make sure that you put distance between you and either kind, zooming away on a reliable car or truck is your best chance of escape. Sure, you can run if you’re some kind of a god on the race track but remember that you are human, who can get tired and hungry and thirsty and your pursuers are zombies, who don’t have to eat or rest. See the picture? So yes, if you don’t drive, please enroll yourself in a driving school and pass your driving test with flying colors not unless you’d want to be featured in a zombies survival guide as the only casualty who died running. And oh please, make sure that the lock system of your getaway car works.
Hoarding, in the normal scheme of things, has always been associated with obsessive-compulsiveness and paranoia. You’re OC so you hoard stuff because that’s what your instinct tells you to do. You hoard canned goods because you’ve always believed that the end of the world can happen anytime soon. Hoarders are often laughed at and ridiculed but come the time when zombies would flood our world, they’ll be the ones who have enough food, water and other necessities at home to tide through the days when one cannot get out because there are zombies on their backyard. Okay, so you’ve run away from them zombies and have camped out at say, some warehouse. You should have that skill to gather food, water, clothing and maybe some flashlight and batteries so you can eat, drink and survive. Hoarders bring stuff as much as they can so you’d probably have enough supply to last you a few days. If we have to write a how to survive a zombie guide, we would put in that one should also eat, sleep, wash and use the toilet as they normally do while being doubly alert.
Honestly, how do you expect to survive on zero food and water?
And we don’t mean shooting pictures, but shooting zombie heads. The best way to kill a zombie is to fire their brains out. That would entail a working gun or rifle, some ammo and an accuracy level of say, 95%. Good shooting skills is required as part of our zombie guide to survival because you don’t actually have the chance to stand in one place and shoot them all while they’re coming. At some point you have to run, look back, shoot, run while reloading, look back, shoot and repeat the same steps until you have killed all fifty of them who want to have your brains for breakfast. If you’re lucky, you may be able to score a hot sniper rifle so you can perch on a building’s roof deck and go on a shooting spree. But then again, there are days when all odds are against you so don’t count on having to sit pretty and wait for the zombies to come and shoot them. You always have to be on-the-go and only start firing when you see zombies near you. For all you know, it’s written on the survival guide for zombies to be wary of anyone who walks around carrying a rifle.
4. Building and constructing
Let’s say you have gone to the nearest town where there are no zombie sightings yet. Don’t be too confident and think they won’t be there pretty soon. What you ought to do is use the time to find a grocery shop or a mid-size mall where you, and your companions if you have ever picked up some people while driving to safety, can stay and recuperate.
We suggest a grocery shop or a mid-size mall because these usually have food, water supply, generator and other necessary items.
5. Fishing & Hunting
If you’ve seen The Walking Dead, you’ll know that the survivors mainly subsist on fish they catch and animals they hunt around the forest. They don’t hide inside a Wal-Mart but they pitched tents on a wide field up on the mountains. If you had this genius idea of trekking a steep area of the forest to get away from the zombies, a small tip from your zombie guide. Know how to fish and hunt with bare hands. Chances are when you’re trying to escape, you won’t have the time to assemble your fishing rod and hunting knives. That would be the least of your worries. So if you’re stuck in the middle of the forest with a dwindling supply of food, these skills would prove most useful as we have mentioned that you need to eat and rest in order to outsmart the dead, or undead.
There you have it. Five skills you can develop now if you’re not yet expert on any of them. These should be very helpful during the first few days or weeks of the zombie apocalypse. These can get you through the escaping, hiding and surviving part of the movie, er, program, er, situation. We will not give more than five as we don’t want you to get overwhelmed as well. Why don’t you master everything and then we will try to come up with advanced skills later so together we can crash em zombies dead.