A woman cannot live without lip gloss, mascara and oil blotting sheets. A man cannot live without his cellphone (or any business gadget), hair gel and wallet. But both of them cannot live without the net. Or the internets, as they fondly call it. The internet has become such a commodity and necessity for all of us that if there are network problems (internet not working, speedtest showing very slow connection), we rant, we pull our hair out, we sob as if the world has stopped turning.
We use the internet for work, for play, for getting in touch with our friends from all over the world that to be deprived of it even for a day is such a torture. Never mind internet mail, your boss can survive not hearing from you even for a week. When you connect to the internet, you are connected to anything, everything and everyone. Indeed, the internet world has become this vast one-stop shop that some people even just stay at home and earn their monthly salary through internet work. Ah, the wonders of technology.
But then, there’s technology failure. And that’s when everything goes awry for all us, net citizens. Wake up, everyone! The internet is not our life. While we do work at internet, or connect to internet to know about the latest trending topics over at Twitter or Facebook and chat with our family and friends, there’s more to our daily existence than posting non-sense shoutouts on FB, scouring over the latest gossip on People or lusting over the newest gadget releases. We’ll show you how to have a rockin’ good time when your internet speed test runs zero, because of course, there’s more to life than asking God on how to connect to the internet.
1. Take long walks
Let us guess. Since you’ve had net at home, you rarely go out. Or if you ever do, you bring your internet on the go devices, hang out at cafes and surprise, bury your nose under all those wonderful websites (aherm, such as coolawesome.com). Having no internet connection gives you the chance to go out, smell the roses (or daisies or gerberas or petunias or the freshly-mown grass) and exercise your legs. Enjoy the scenery as it unfolds right before you. Admire the beauty of your neighborhood park, not just in pictures. Or, you can grab your iPod and running shoes and go jogging or running. That’s the best way to beat the blues as exercise makes your body release those happy hormones.
2. Meet up with friends
Talking with your best friends over some coffee and doughnuts still beats Skype-ing with them on your on the go internet device anytime. Being with them allows you to hug them, hold their hand, pinch their cheeks and giggle with them when that cute guy passes by. In the men’s case (no, bros don’t hug each other nor pinch each other’s cheeks), beer tastes so much better when shared with friends. So never allow the internet to get in the way of your friendships and social life.
3. Paint, design, explore
If you’re accessing internet from home and it suddenly dies on you (you might have forgotten to pay the bill!), never fret. Now’s the best time to redecorate. The internet and all of these fun, informative websites have always distracted you from re-designing your small space. But it has also inspired you on how to reinvent your home. Now that it has been unfairly taken away from you, what else to do but purchase several cans of paint, maybe some stencil designs and start designing that horridly white wall. Your room is not only your personal space, it can also be the place where your creativity is most harnessed.
4. Catch up on your reading
When your speednet finally reveals the big D (disconnect, you know), refrain yourself from hurling. Keep calm, go over to your bookshelf, get one book you haven’t read yet, curl yourself on the couch and drift to Scotland or Europe or wherever the setting of that particular book is. Reading takes a backseat whenever you’re online. Twitter or Facebook or blogs are too good to pass up on and we always end up too tired to flip two or more chapters of our current book. Without the net to lure you away from your book list, you go back to basics and use and stretch your imagination recreating worlds and characters from whatever we are reading. Isn’t that loads better than sulking?
5. Play board games with your family
Board games used to be the in thing a few decades back. Every family has Scrabble, Monopoly, Boggle, Snakes and Ladders and even Uno back then. Dads and moms and kids gather around the table, trying to outdo and beat each other. But since we’ve had the internet and all sorts of gaming for the kids, these board games have been forgotten. So if your internet gets cut off and your child wails, “I need internet!” unearth your Scrabble board and engage them in this vocabulary-enhancing game. See how an unfortunate activity can become a family bonding time?
6. Go on vacation
This may be a very preposterous suggestion but you weren’t exactly planning to mop around the house if your internet’s out, right? If you are, here’s your bag, you have to get out of here quick. You’re turning into an internet fiend. With no internet, you’re not exactly expected to churn out reports and all those things with a deadline so take this chance to buy a train or boat ticket and spend two or three days in a place you haven’t visited yet. It may be just the next state or your cousin’s farm, it doesn’t have to be Switzerland or Maldives. As long as you go out, explore and stay away from all social networking sites and all those sites you follow. And don’t even think about going to a cafe to hook to an open internet connection. You’ll be totally missing the point.
7. Stop procrastinating
Which basically means doing those things you’ve put off for the longest time — visiting a grandmother, returning a book to the library, getting a haircut, you get the drift. It’s easy to lose yourself online. When you’re hooked to the net, nothing ever matters. It’s easier to say you’ll go to your parents’ house next week than pry your hands away from the keyboard, especially if your crush is also online. So if your internet goes kaput on you, that’s the universe telling you to stand up and move about.
Seven things you can do if and when you suddenly find yourself with no internet connection. As there’s always a guide to the internet, this is your manual should you end up without it. Because while it is fun creating a presence online, it shouldn’t stop you from living your real life. Don’t miss out on the things that truly matter such as a real, live kiss from your sweetheart or parents. We’ve survived centuries and centuries without the worldwide web, how much more only a week or two? Ta-ta now. We’re logging off to go island hopping. Real sailing-on-a-boat island hopping.